What to do when you’ve burned out — a practical guide
In 2018, after getting through some difficult weeks at work, I had a panic attack during a team meeting and ten days later was diagnosed with a burnout. I’d heard about burnout and dismissed it as something that happens to other people, not to me, but I knew I was in trouble — when you burn out, you know it. I looked online for help and found lots of content about avoiding a burn out, but little to nothing about what to do when you actually have one. I’m a very practical person and what I desperately needed was for someone to tell me what to do — I guess this article is for people like me. It took me a full six months to get back to some semblance of normality, but I got there. My life is completely different now and my hope is that my story will help others.
Following are very practical steps you can take when you’ve pushed past your limits, depleted your resources and your body and mind have shut you down.
Disconnect fully from work
A complete break from work and anything related to it is critical. First step is making clear how serious this is to your boss, you are on sick leave and cannot be contacted — hopefully HR will get involved and support you with that. In those first days, I pushed myself to make a detailed handover which gave me peace of mind and also stopped my worrying about balls dropping. Once that was done, I turned on an out-of-office message which stated that I was on leave and unavailable — I provided the numbers of colleagues who could be contacted instead. Finally, I deactivated anything related to work on my personal phone and laptop — calendars, notes, emails, contacts, instant messaging, work related apps, LinkedIn, everything. I later muted colleagues who followed me on social media — I didn’t need to see photos of work drinks. My work-phone was switched off entirely and put away, along with my laptop and any work paraphernalia.
Empty your agenda
You need to rest completely and that goes further than your work. The goal is to have a completely empty agenda — zero commitments. In fact, you shouldn’t need an agenda because nothing is happening. When you wake up each morning you get to choose, moment by moment, what happens. Do you stay sleeping? Do you sit on the sofa and read? Do you go for a walk in the park? Well-intended friends may want to plan lunches and activities. Thank them and tell them that you can’t commit to anything at the moment — but when you need company you will contact them. When I was ill, one of my best friends celebrated her birthday with a party in Greece. I’d looked forward to it for months. Theoretically, it would be a fun, zero-stress event. A chance for sunshine, great food, amazing company. I struggled and debated, but ultimately I apologised and said I couldn’t go. I prioritised my health. She understood completely.
Ask for help
Anyone living with you will know how you’ve struggled and will be relieved that you are finally taking the steps you need to get better. You’ll need their support a lot in the coming weeks and maybe months. It’s important to explain clearly what you can and can’t commit to. In my case, I committed to looking after our dog, Sophia. She needed regular walks and while sometimes I really didn’t want to go out, spending time with her in the park was very helpful. What I couldn’t commit to was cooking dinner every evening or doing the weekly shop. I did those things, many times, but only when I felt able to — and most importantly, I felt no obligation to do them. For people with kids, it’s obviously more difficult. Friends in a similar situation have told me that they leaned more on their partner in those months. Also, despite being home, they still sent their kids to the creche so they had time to rest and sleep. They also told me that time with their kids really helped their recovery — although tired, they got energy from uninterrupted time with them. For once, there was no clock ticking or mobile phone buzzing in the background.
Find professional support
In my case I was already seeing a psychologist when I had the burn out. He was the one who raised the alarm — without him I probably would have pushed even further, causing even more damage to my health. During those months I saw him regularly and his support in my recovery was essential. I also received advice and therapy from friends — in particular one who is a massage therapist and another who specialises in Ayurveda and restorative yoga. Do what works for you. This isn’t the time to learn new things or put yourself under pressure — allow yourself to receive and be guided. It’s also a time when you can’t escape your feelings and that can be overwhelming. You start questioning everything. This is a big topic and in time I will write a separate piece about it.
Sleep, sleep, sleep
When you burn out, your body essentially shuts you down, stops you in your tracks. You’ve likely been receiving warnings for some time — headaches, skin issues, sickness, trouble sleeping, digestive issues and on and on. Stress hormones, intended to get you through short, challenging situations, have been flooding your system — keeping you on edge, a constant heightened awareness. Your body and mind now need to recover, through complete rest. Once you remove the obligations of daily life you can finally sleep. And you will. Allow yourself to sleep any time you feel the need.
Care for your physical body
Not eating, or eating the wrong things regularly will set you back, darken your mood and delay your recovery. Take the stress out of eating by keeping it simple — soups, salads, juices, healthy comfort food. Drink water, lots of it — fill a jug in the morning and make sure you drink, refill and drink more throughout the day. Avoid stimulants as much as possible — especially coffee and alcohol. Herbal teas really helped me — look for the ‘sleepy’ or ‘de stress’ ones — with ingredients like chamomile, valerian, lavender. Walks in nature are essential to your recovery — but don’t push yourself. Intense workouts or yoga practices should be avoided. If you enjoy the gym, go when it’s quiet and if you have the energy, do a light workout. I discovered restorative yoga while I was sick and it’s incredible.
Be (a) patient
The first time I visited my ‘work’ doctor — the independent doctor in place via my employer — I sat in the waiting room, feeling weak and ashamed. I expected to be interrogated — asked why I wasn’t at the office, told to get back to work. I nervously explained how I was feeling, about the panic attack I’d had a week earlier and about my work the previous month. She listened carefully, made notes and after a few more questions told me to come for another appointment in two months. I agreed and asked her when I should return to the office. She said we would discuss that in two months. My mouth fell open. Two months sick leave? In the end, I returned to the office after six months. So yes, be patient. Burnout isn’t something to take lightly — and recovery takes time.
There are more tips I could share but these made the most difference to me. Most importantly, during this difficult time, be kind to yourself. You’ve become ill, because you’ve stopped listening to that inner voice that tells you — this is too much. Focus on that voice and listen as it calls you to slow down, to find quiet, to sleep, to stop doing.